The Siege of Mario World
by Akwyn
Summary: This is a story written about several adowable characters in personalities different from their public faces teaming up with the baddies and attacking, and virtually trying to take over, all places in the world. And some other worlds. K plus for violence
1. The Fight Begins

So this is a story I wrote with my violence-obsessed older brother, and we wrote it out of his curiosity about the website, and both of our utter boredom. Read and Flame.

A/N: All Mary-Sues/Gary-Stues are intentional. And a Bronx Cheer is another word for loud flatulence, just in case you were unaware. And there is a slightly racist joke in here, so no offence intended to any Chinese readers.

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Except for Jigglypuff being a vampiress. That one is mine, as well as Assassin Pikachu, which is my brother's. If you have either of these in any of your stories, please do not be offended, because chances are I have not read your story because there are to friggin' many for one person to read and remember all of. Oh, and we do not own the concept of Mary-Sue/Gary-Stues, but we do own the ones mentioned. **Please flame unless you actually enjoy this plotless drivel. If you do enjoy, please review!**

The Siege of Mario World

Chapter 1-The Fight Begins

_Once upon a time in a far off land filled with Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues where everyone was happy all the time, the narrator became annoyed because the narrator hates fluffy happy lands._ _Narrator decided that this happy land needed some good old-fashioned violence. _

But first we have to give you a tour of this far off land called Mario World. Well, the version the narrator made up. Mario World was a huge island that was covered by forests and mountains. In the southern part of the island there were grassy plains. Most people lived in the Southern part of the island near Princess Peach's castle and because the North was not settled very well. There were wild pokemon lurking about and Bowser roamed the lands with his followers. Two groups of pokemon made settlements in the forests of the north. One group was the pikachus and the other was the Jigglypuffs. Some humans still managed to live in the wild north in small towns of cottages. These were the first to be attacked. The first to learn of the attack was the character we are about to introduce.

Miss Susanivanranica was brushing her silky, luxurious, golden locks on her gorgeous porch balcony. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining bright through the trees. Then as Miss Susanivanranica looked out upon the day through her clear blue eyes, a lone red dot appeared on her head.

"Now what could that be?" she asked. She tried to brush it off and it wouldn't come off.

"Humph." She grunted daintily. She tried to force it off with her magical powers that could defeat any warrior. The dot remained, and Susanivanranica had a headache, which she instantly cured with her healing powers.

"I want it off now!" Susani sulked.

"Butler!" she shouted.

A very fat man in a tuxedo stumbled out of the doorway after Miss Susanivanranica heard him fall down both flights of stairs, trip on a small table, and get himself out of the doorway when he was stuck in it.

"What is the problem Miss?" Butler asked.

"There is a red dot on me and it won't come off. Get it off now!"

"Get down! Nooooooooooooo!" he cried and tried to reenact the matrix but the red dot was apparently a target, and a pink fluffy ball of fluff named Jigglypuff shot onto his chest and clamped her teeth into his many-chinned neck.

"Jiggles! Jigglypuff! Puff!" (Which meant: You have more chins than a Chinese phonebook, Lard!)

Then she jumped next to Miss Susanivanranica, whose normally aqua eyes had turned a dangerous shade of violet. Susanivanranica grabbed her comb, which flashed and morphed into a katana. Susanivanranica slashed once, her blade moving at an unreal speed. Jigglypuff smiled, her newly sharpened teeth glistening. Jiggles lunged at the Uber-Sue and sank her teeth into the girl's neck. Susanivanranica's body lit and dissipated into a silvery mist that slowly faded. Jigglypuff smirked. Her work here was done.

She flew out of the balcony to join the swarm of her army that was now heading for Whoville. The army consisted of Pikachu and the pikachus along with the jigglypuffs and Bowser's horde of creatures. (The character Jigglypuff has her name capitalized and same with Pikachu later on.) They charged over the hill into Whoville.

The Whos, of course, were Christmas shopping in the middle of the summer. The Grinch was in the street, casually hitting people with large rocks, dropping marbles on the road, and generally causing mayhem painful to others and hilarious to him. So more trouble arrived from all sides.

The Grinch cackled when he knew help was coming. This was his chance to kill the Whos once and for all. As he was demonstrating his extensive knowledge of mischief and evil laughter, the advancing armies gunned him down.

"Pika! Pika!" yelled Pikachu as he let out a Bronx cheer on what was left of the Grinch.

Jigglypuff sawed her bloody teeth through a cheery lamppost, which then crushed several small Whos riding a bus smaller than their assassin.

In the center of the town square, a small child dressed as Orphan Annie bleated "TOMORROW! TOMORROW! IT'S CHRISTMAS-TOMORROW! IT'S ONLY A DAY…….A……..WAAAA-HURK!" The unfortunate child choked as she was blasted through a store window by a shotgun at point blank range. As the dust cleared a lone figure stood holding the shotgun and wearing a red bandana that only went around his head and behind his ears. He snickered. "Pika! Pika! Pikachu!" (Which meant: "Stupid kid. It's July, not December.")

Then he farted on Annie's face.

Thus Brings an Abrubt End to the Chapter 


	2. The Fall of Whoville

Whoville Falls

CINDY-Lou Who was just waking up to the music of her alarm: "Silver BEEEELLLS! SILVER BEEELLS!" when she heard the chaos outside her home. She merely smiled. "It must be Stu and Gary making presents for me again. Silly brothers." Then an explosion rocked the street and one of Bowser's minions smashed through the window and flew into the room. Then it slammed into the wall, slid down the wall, and collapsed into a heap on the floor.

"Wow. These are going to be some really cool presents," said Cindy-Lou happily.

She slid out of bed, the bells in her hair tinkling. **This irked the Narrator very very much. **

**So the Narrator got revenge. **

As Cindy-Lou Who was singing and positively waltzing down the steps, the chandelier fell, landing inches from Cindy's feet, and crushing her father. _Drat,_ thought her father, _I missed._ **The Narrator sweat drops.** Her father had always been strange, and today was no exception. He had been planning to bump Cindy off ever since the day she poured arsenic into his tea. Unfortunately, his chandelier scheme had not worked and he died while Cindy skipped merrily down the stairs.

"MOTHER!" she called cheerfully, "Daddy tried to kill me again. Make him run laps!"

Mrs. Lou-Who was fat. She was utterly obese. Her lard filled three chairs when she sat down to eat her 8:00 AM box of doughnuts with jimmies.

With her mouth stuffed with doughnut, she moaned "Maaa-dooom naah gooshhhhhhh." Which, of course, meant "Man, no more goulash for you. I MUST HAVE MORE GOULASH!"

Mrs. Lou-Who tried to stand, but tripped and fell onto the table, crushing it and causing the entire house to implode.

Cindy put on a black robe and began screeching "Oh DANNY BOOOOOOOOYYYYYY! The pipes the pipes are ca-ha-hah-hall-ing! From glen to glennnnnn-and down the mountain sideeeeeeieieieieieie!" and continued even as large pink bubbles floated into the room. The bubbles remained stationary until Cindy had to go and try to hit a high G. "For ye WILLLLLL **_BEEEEEND_**!"

**POW. **All thebubbles instantly exploded, sending pink goo around the wreckage that was previously a home.

Through the pinkish haze, the jigglypuffs that were in the protective bubbles stood in action-ready poses.

"Well aren't you sweet!" Cindy cooed, reaching down to pat a jigglypuff on the head. The puff screamed as Cindy tried to hold it. Than Cindy but squeezed too hard and the thing popped and fizzed and whirled around the room like a balloon that hadn't been tied before it was let go.

The jigglypuffs glared and hissed, then slapped into two lines, each facing another. Then Jigglypuff herself entered the room. "PUFF! Jiggly PUFF!"

The jigglypuffs attacked on their leader's command. Soon, all that was left of Cindy-Lou Who was a ragged black robe and a trail of blood. Jigglypuff smiled through her bloody fangs. She walked into the charred remains of Whoville as the army swarmed on. Her work here was done.

Meanwhile, at the castle of Hyrule, Link and Zelda were planning to have a tea party.

"I'll go check to make sure that it won't rain again," said Zelda.

"Well, then I will go get the tea and teacups and saucers and crumpets and butter," Link said.

When Zelda walked outside she saw no rain, but instead there were thousands of Bowser's minions, pikachus and jigglypuffs. They were headed straight for Hyrule. In their path was a small village, which put up the first real resistance to this rampage.

"Are you the king's soldiers?" a man asked Pikachu. "I thought the king was overthrown."

"Pika pika!" Pikachu shouted as he kicked the man down and took a very loud fart on his face. The man suffocated from the toxic fumes.

"Hi my name is uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ddddddddddddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, um I don't know what my name is. Do you know what my name is little man?" the strange man asked Pikachu. For a response Pikachu shot his arm off.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha. That tickled. You are a funny little man," the queer moron gave Pikachu a pat on the head…which was when he lost his other arm. Instead of waiting for him to answer Pikachu hit the moron down with a kick and shot him until only his head was left.

"I feel smaller, little man," the moron said to Pikachu. By this time Pikachu was furious; he hated being called little man. Now cute little Pikachu had turned from yellow to a bright red.

"Piiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkaaaaaaaacccchhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Pikachu screamed before kicking the man as far as his little feet could kick him. The moron's head flew into a store window just before the store blew up from a missile.

"Pikachu, pika pika Pikachu," (Which meant: "I finally killed that stupid poopmuncher.") muttered Pikachu to himself.

Most of the villagers met gruesome ends just like the moron and the other man.

"Oh no! Now the tea party has to be canceled again! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zelda screamed and shook the whole castle.

"Now dearie, I'm sure we can schedule a new, _better,_ one next week!" Link hurriedly exclaimed in an effort to cool Zelda's rising temper.

"I DON'T WANNA HAVE A BETTER ONE LATER! I WANT ONE NOW!" Zelda exploded from her severe temper tantrum.

"Oh, dear. Not again," Link sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "MATINANCE!" Link called, "ZELDA THREW ANOTHER TANTRUM! GET THE SPECIALTY CREW IN HERE NOW! AND BRING ASPRIN."


End file.
